why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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