i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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