Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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