Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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