Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My hand turned me down
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
