I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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