I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
