Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
