just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
