My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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