is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My liver just had a heart attack.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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