I hate all girls vehemently.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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