are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
