Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize