It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
