dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
