U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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