I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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