Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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