Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
