no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
