Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
