We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
