Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
