woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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