Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
