When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
