kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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