Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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