one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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