you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize