I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
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