I cannot find my penis.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
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