Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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