i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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