i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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