i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
