I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
