I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
