I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We talked him into tasing himself.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
