In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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