i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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