I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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