Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize