Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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