you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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