At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
