8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
