I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
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Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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