did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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