mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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