what if every blade of grass was a penis?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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