I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
