whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
